I have always been a watcher - eager but withdrawn, involved but reserved. I can talk and laugh, of course, but I am content with being the one on the outside. Sometimes I feel as though I am invisible. People don't see me as they pass me by, but I see them. I hear snippets of their thoughts spilling over for me to remember. They need not worry though; I don't want to memorize their faces. I just want to observe, no strings attached. The chattering of a group of girls as they discuss the latest fashion trends. The cool attitude of guys as they slap each other on the back and boast about their latest sports achievement. The quiet whisperings of a couple near the stairs as they kiss, embrace, and head off to their next class. I take this all in without a word, imagining the stories behind everything I see. I am almost like the scribe in a meeting of kings, patient like the Greeks in the Trojan Horse that I am writing about. In a group, I can use this to analyze a situation and build upon ideas already given. This is why I watch - to evaluate, to elaborate, to understand.
While my eyes are always open, I do not think I'm the audience of this show of life. I am not a person who sits on the sidelines and watches as the world goes by. I am active about taking risks because I know there will not be a second chance. I am a sentinel of opportunity. Similar to little Gretel who manages to push the evil witch into her own oven, I lie in wait for the time I can appear. No, not passive, but one who seizes time. Likewise, when I work in a group, I quietly listen to the discussion, build my own thoughts, and speak up when the moment is right to tie a thesis together or break apart an argument. This is why I can act as a conciliator, both to others and to myself.
So if my life was a story, I wouldn't be the knight in shining armor or the damsel in distress - I would be the narrator telling the tale.
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1 This post is for an AP English assignment.
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